The Love Lives of Vegetables

Tomato: the identity crisis. 
A solid vegetable, but longs to be a fruit.

Beetroot: the confused one. 
Always in a pickle, and therefore undesirable.

Swede: drink problem. Always mashed. 
No one likes the Swede, 
and only hangs out with it out of pity.

Potato: the entrepreneur. 
Does well in almost any situation 
due to their versatility. 
Friend to all vegetables (and most meats).

Carrot: the hanger-on. 
Gatecrashes their way into salads and cakes.
Sometimes can be seen hanging out in the snow
beside lumps of coal.

Onion: insensitive to others,
tends to make others cry a lot.
Best encountered in hot conditions
which calm their tenacity.

Courgette: largely misunderstood,
and therefore undervalued. 
Keen to mingle and interact, but considered a snob.

Lettuce: so plain.
Likes dressing up,
lives vicariously through other vegetables.

Colin Dardis ✓